This is absolutely horrible. I am at the most confusing part of my lecture. A dozen curious hands are going up at once hoping to clarify whatever it is they want to clarify but I am setting my new years resolutions and the year’s to-do list in stone. (Why make complicated things more complicated? Take them at face value and life will be simple. We’ll never use these concepts when we go to work. And I look down at this field of study sometimes.)
This is very exciting for me – I have never made resolutions before. I’ve never seen the need to. I already exist in a hard shell and I live a rigid life with standard goals and average, meaningless achievements. I move across continents from one watchful, monotonous Catholic eye to another. Up till this year I have steered my life carefully and thoughtfully and pragmatically. I never make mistakes. But I will not govern my life this year! I am a young adult, a rebellious one, whose priorities no longer lie with academia. And anyway I’ll be getting my piece of paper in about 5 months now. I’m so glad I never went to law school. I could not bear another semester.
So this year I am going to do all the shit no one expects me to do. I know my parents expect me to stay in school and do Honours and post grad, but I am going to be an athlete. I am also going to be an artist. And a lone traveller. I will sky dive, change my hair colour, maybe get a visible tattoo, spend what I earn, eat what I love (if that means eating squid ink pasta every other week), who knows, maybe even make love on a beach (okay, this is clearly not going to happen anytime soon. I need to get over my insane standards of hygiene. Seeing my boyfriend burp once puts me off kissing him for an entire day. Plus I am terrified of sandflies. I only wrote that to sound like a free willy indie beach gal).
But basically, this year I’m going to fuck it all, learn more than I ever have, read more, talk more, listen more, love more. Live for no one.
